My Favorite Car Crash

It was a piss poor day for driving cab,
business was moving as slow as a crab

I was looking for paper for doodles to draw-
when yee-EEE-HAH! Got a fare to Issy-QUAH!

I counted my cash as I dead headed back,
thinking cheeseburgers fries & a coke for this hack

would do just right to cap off the trip
(I didn't notice the sky was starting to drip).

Now the car I was driving was the Chevy Impally
not the light little Ford I'd been yoosta by golly

so when I got off of I-5 and turned away east
to get to the Ave where I planned my big feast

it took longer than usual to get up to speed -
inursha they call it, least those that read.

I knew it quite well but what is surely perverse
I failed to recall that it works in reverse.

But I remembered soon as I came over the bend
as my first thoughts exactly were - no not again!

For there they were: seven cars in one file
in front of my own - and me no place to go.

I tried hitting the brakes & did slip & did slide,
I wanted to get out to go run & to hide.

But no, I was moving too fast to get out -
I was moving too fast for me even to shout:

"Hey everybody! Get the fuck outta my way!
Can't you see I'm gonna ram your asses today?!"

I looked to the left of me & then to the right,
'twas then that salvation appeared to my sight.

The Seven Gables Theater's bushes were there -
the momentum of a Chevy they might barely bear.

It was worth a good try & so I eyed the stiff curb
which by stealth & by cunning I'd attack and perturb

with first the right wheels and then with the left,
only just leaving the light pole bereft.

I entered that space where no auto was meant
and was nary a tree nor any bushes unbent.

Hacking & slashing I tore them asunder.
I felt like a Viking on a happy day's plunder.

And that tells the tale of my favorite car crash.
For you I don't know, but for me 'twas a smash.

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